my dream

I had this dream last night that while I was sleeping on the couch downstairs, my mom filled my bedroom up with cages of exotic animals and aquariums of fish, and that my plants were growing out of control- huge! Blocking out the window and covering my bed with leaves.

And at first I was really mad, but then I saw that there were some seahorses in one of the tanks and I was just so amazed and couldn't even believe it, and I wasn't annoyed or upset anymore.

So I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that my mom kept a bunch of cats in my room when I was away at college, and that my new morning glories are just starting to sprout, and that I had a fever at the time.

Home feels different to me after being away from it. Even though ten weeks isn't all that long, especially compared to the ten or so years that I've lived in this house, it's more of the fact that it's becoming less of a home to me. Most of my stuff is still here, but I've sort of already started to put my roots down somewhere else, in Bar Harbor. And I really like it there, but I was also pretty homesick at times there too. But I think that's okay?

So I'm struggling with this idea of "home" or even just my room, which, after sharing one with a roommate, seems oddly empty and inhospitable.

People move from place to place, and children have to grow up and find their own way somehow, but it all seems very big to me still, and I miss people who are in Boston and Montreal and California. And one of my one good friends from school might not be coming back next trimester, which I don't really know how to cope with.

But I'm glad that I'm not sick anymore, and that I've figured a few things out. And I'll get to see a few more people soon. My big sister, who I haven't seen in probably a year and a half, is flying here from Texas tonight. It will only take her about three hours. Doesn't that seem impossible?

I watched an episode of House where he was on a plane and someone got really, really sick and then all the passengers started getting all of the symptoms too, and they all thought they were all going to die and they were flying over the south pole, but then it turned out that it was just all just hysteria and it was only the one guy in the first place who was sick, and he wasn't even really all that sick, he was just a scuba diver or whatever. In the end it all turned out okay.

ok?