one more bittersweet song

Though it isn't Hazards of Love. Hmph..

"O, Dear, I don't know, I have to go and put my head to rest"

I call this, what are things that will make you realise? Days are empty, everything is insipid and distant. When things are real, they are too real, they are overwhelming, they are devastating. It is so difficult to pull back, from pain or numb, and remember what it means to be myself.

What are things that will make you realise?

1. someone telling you "I love you", when it is someone you really want to hear that from them
2. taking a bath while looking at a book you love but don't want to read again any time soon
3. sitting on a comfortable chair that you can sink into, in a dimly lit room with steady ambient noise (fan, white noise, noise generator, anything) to block out anything but your own thoughts
4. lying on your back lost in the woods, looking up at the trees and listening to them creak; especially when it is too hot and humid, or too cold and dry, and you can sit there long enough to forget those things
5. remembering all the wonderful things, all the things that brought you here, for better or for worse; don't remember in words, look at photographs and walk through your childhood spots and smell old books that were loaned to you because then you will remember that person's faint smell and well as the pleasant odor of stale pages
6. remember the times you cried, and how things got worse but eventually things went away; especially if you can't cry right now
7. make long lists of everything you're going to need when you finally run away and nobody will know where you went; did you ever think of running away when you were a small child? what did you decide to bring? better bring it this time, too
8. think about your enemies from long ago and realise that they weren't so bad after all
9. think about your enemies from long ago and realise how wonderful things are now that you don't have to worry about them anymore
10. look at your old drawings, notebooks, read your dream journals, recipes, free verse poetry, look at the doodles you drew in your textbooks and old magazines you kept for one article you liked; be happy that you're sure these things happened
11. find all the nick-nacks and little things your friends and parents have given you to commemorate something, as a souvenir, as a way of saying, "this reminded me of you"; think about the things you've given
12. read old love letters, feel your heart flutter again
13. right now, write down anything that will remind yourself of things that will make you realise.

Education Forum Timey!!

I know that you guys aren't as interested in pedagogy as I am, but I thought that I might as well try.

Right now I am debating whether studying a subject in an advanced course is more worthwhile than studying it independently. Most courses of this kind require a great deal of reading/information absorption, and then you are expected to make some draw some kind of revolutionary conclusions from it.

For example, let's say that you are in a class on baking cookies. You read hundreds of recipes as an assignment (and bake a few, too). This would be the 'information absorption' part of the class. The 'conclusions' part of the class might be an assignment, perhaps to write your own successful cookie recipe.

Following this formula, we can represent the learning experience thus:

information absorption ➔ drawing conclusions

This is how I think that most classes are structured. However, it misses out on a key element that should act as a go-between, which is a development of understanding. Without understanding the information, any conclusions drawn will be faulty. So, the new flow would go something like:

information absorption ➔ developing understanding ➔ drawing conclusions

Ideally, we should develop understanding on our own, and discuss what we think during in-class discussions. I see at least two problems with this:

1. Most students would rather do other things (like mingle, sleep, or play music) rather than develop and understanding of their schoolwork.
2. In-class discussions designed to develop understanding do not often work out well, because of mixed skill levels. If some students are trying to build a remedial understanding, and others are trying to build understanding, the class will be dichotomised and a compensation (where nobody is completely satisfied) will result.

I think that by studying things independently of school, even at a higher skill level, we eliminate these two problems because:

1. The student will be self-motivated to study
2. The student will develop understanding at his or her own pace

What do you guys think? Is classroom understanding superior to independent study?

Craig Thompson's Blankets

Here's something I can review: Craig Thompson's semi-autobiographical graphic novel Blankets. It's like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, except less magic realism, and more breasts. Blankets is essentially a romance/coming of age story, with themes of angst, fundamental Christianity, retardation, six hundred epilogues, and developing sexuality. However, anyone could smelt together these themes into a campy romance novel; Blankets' true virtue is in its near-perfect execution. This book reads like greased lightening. There is not a wordy page in the book, and it's full of pretty pictures, and I effectively read the thing in one session.

In other news, this reporter was recently awarded a golden speeding ticket. Hark! The herald angels sing.